I confess to having committed an act of clickbait . . . I just read an MSN article titled “Mom who popularized gender reveal regrets it now.” For a first-time pregnant mom, it did a number on my curiosity. I suppose I was hoping for an argument that was substantial or at least understandable; after all, lots of wonderful families that I know wait and let the sex of their baby be a surprise at birth, or at least hold of on announcing it to others, and while I personally can’t wait that long (The Dash and I are finding out in early December!), I love and appreciate the joy of their surprise. So, I hazarded, perhaps this article had thoughts running along this vein. Alas, I should have known better . . .
This article relates how a certain mother, back in 2008, chose to reveal her baby girl’s gender with a pink-icing-filled cake. The idea caught fire on social media and now the concept of gender reveal is a beloved part of many couples’ pregnancy journey. But, to my shock/eye-rolling/depression, her current regret over having popularized gender reveal parties is, in her own words, because it encourages parents to celebrate (my emphasis) “one of the most mundane facts about their child” and, for the child, focuses on “what’s between their legs” rather than “their potential and talents.”
“Let children be,” she says. “Let them explore. The gender norms have become so rigid and narrow, it’s a wonder anyone can breathe . . . people are burning down forests and blowing up cars to shout what is essentially a very boring detail.”
Could this be more heartbreaking, ignorant, and (frankly) crass? Sigh.
Unsurprisingly, this article is just a party popper full of gray confetti–also known as today’s gender ideology non-reasoning and emotion–and this woman is only a deceived victim, but still. I needed a truth antidote and a moment to write about it, for goodness’ sake.
As a Catholic expecting mother, I know the reality of my unborn child’s being male or female is intrinsically bound up with their identity, personality and very existence. It’s a fundamental truth about them and who they are; it is holy and deeply exciting to know–to just anticipate knowing. After all, to be male means to be ordered to the capacity of fatherhood in mind, body and soul – to be female means to be interiorly knitted with the spiritual and psychological capacity for motherhood. Nothing could be more different, more exciting, or more sacred! And through Baptism, he or she will be made an adopted son or daughter of God. Men and women, despite the howlings of the culture, are incredibly, intricately different from one another inherently, and not just with an anatomical superficiality as this mother would claim.
While surely wanting happiness for her children, the indoctrination this mother is most likely is sharing with her children only opens the door for them to later on experience existential confusion, wounding, and depression–loss and emptiness. This is tragic, as one of a mother’s most basic roles is to nurture her child and help guide and order them to emotional and spiritual well-being and security from their earliest days.
This article is far beyond the decision of finding or not finding out the sex of your child, and is entirely about accepting (or not accepting) the God-given identity and interior construct of your child, of yourself, of everyone, and defending the truth of it and rejoicing in the beauty and mystery of it, and helping it to blossom into fullness. There is absolutely no possibility for authentic individuality and personality in your child if you deny who they have fundamentally been made to be–and this, out of the diabolically inspired “fear” of causing them harm by not letting them “explore and identify themselves.” Instead, you would be equipping them for hollowed conformism and loneliness of the worst kind.
I eagerly await being able to embrace my son or daughter as my son or daughter, with the magically unique gifts and potential that either would bring into this world, for God’s glory.
From Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI:
“According to this philosophy, sex is no longer a given element of nature, that man has to accept and personally make sense of: it is a social role that we choose for ourselves, while in the past it was chosen for us by society.
“The profound falsehood of this theory and of the anthropological revolution contained within it is obvious. People dispute the idea that they have a nature, given by their bodily identity, that serves as a defining element of the human being. They deny their nature and decide that it is not something previously given to them, but that they make it for themselves.
“According to the biblical creation account, being created by God as male and female pertains to the essence of the human creature. This duality is an essential aspect of what being human is all about, as ordained by God. This very duality as something previously given is what is now disputed. The words of the creation account: “male and female he created them” (Gen 1.27) no longer apply. No, what applies now is this: it was not God who created them male and female – hitherto society did this, now we decide for ourselves.
Mary Jimenez :: That Sweet "Ave" 